Tuesday, 24 May 2016

5 Things you should never say to your child

Parenting has never been easy, be it in any generation, but presently its getting tougher as parents nowadays are more busy and lack the patience required to handle their children. A child's mind is extremely delicate and sensitive & parents should should be really careful in dealing with matters concerning their children, because its entirely a parents responsibility to raise their child in a manner that help them grow as an individual and pave right & bright path for the child's future.

Below is listed few things which you should never say to you child, because it hurts!

1. Look at your friend, he is good in everything, why can't you be like him: Well, these words are extremely painful and piercing. At a tender age, a child sees the world through his or her parent's eyes and when he finds that in his parents eyes he is not good enough and they are not happy with his achievements, he begins to lose confidence in himself and feels demotivated. Every child has its own individuality and they are talented in their own way. A parents responsibility is to recognise that talent and help them to develop it further. Always speak kind and motivating words to your child and never compare them to anybody, not even to their own siblings. Love and affection shown towards the child, gives boosts their confidence and creates an environment that helps a child to bloom. Comparisons destroy them!

2. Let your dad come, he will teach you a lesson:

Mothers in order to discipline their child often say these words to them, unknowingly creating a fearful environment for the child. Maybe at that time, a child may listen to you but if same thing is being repeated again and again than the child becomes reluctant to her mother's words and stops obeying her as he fears only his father. It can also happen that his fear can become deep rooted, and he remains in a dreadful condition all the time in his father's presence. Both the situation, can hamper a child's easiness and an uncomfortable child lacks its natural innocence and spontaneity. So, parents should never let the child live in a scary surrounding because that can make a child stubborn and coward.

3. Do not Disturb me:


In today's scenario where both parents are working, it may happen that a child feels ignored. Money and profession is important but not at the cost of your child. Your children should be your first priority, and everything else comes after that. A parent should have the realisation that a child just need your love and attention, and this can go a long way in nurturing a child and developing a sense of security in him. At times, children want to involve their parents in their made up stories or troubles and seek answers to their curiosity and if they are ignored and not entertained by their parents seeking their busy schedule, then this can have an adverse psychological impact on the child and it may happen that continuous ignorance can affect the child so badly that he can never come out of it. It may also happen that a child may start disliking you as parents and it will be a big jolt for you, right? but at this point you won't be able to make any amends for that because things are completely out of your hand now. So if you do not want to lament later then be 24x7 available for you child. This makes the bond strong. Trust me!

4. Don't cry or I will punish you: A crying child wants your warmth, your affection and not your harsh words. Some parents always has this tendency of shouting at their child when they cry. A child cries because he needs help, he wants to point out something to you, or may be he just needs your comfort, your attention. Whenever your child cries, you should cuddle him and console him instead of getting irritated because this evokes a feeling of security among the children and they believe in you, yes! let the child feel that you are there for him and nothing can go wrong when you are around. Be the Knight in shining armour for your child and see him glowing with glory. A trust should developed between you and the child, which will make your bonding and your relationship strong. This now-built trust between you and your child at this age, helps the child to connect with you and confide in you forever. Love, Love, Love alone is what a child needs from you.

5. You are good -for -nothing, you are a loser:

Ouchhhh!!! that hurts like death. It is often seen that when a child is unable to meet his parent's expectations in terms of academic result or any other competition, then he has to bear the agony of his parents who commands that since they are spending so much on him, he should fulfil their expectations. Parent wants to gain an upper hand among their friends, peers and families riding on their child's performance. Its not wrong to expect nice performance from your children but scrutinizing them to the level of audacity when they are unable to do so is unacceptable. Strong words like these crushes his self-confidence and he feels dejected. The child can even take drastic measures to escape from the situation or he may become indifferent to you , thus loosening the bond between you and your child. Be sensitive and compassionate to your child, he needs your motivation to grow. Every child is special and possess some talent, parents should act as a mentor to their child, and help in motivating the child to develop that talent, grow and excel. In your life what society says should not matter, but in what light your child sees you does matter.

A child's mind is very vulnerable, soothe him with a pat on the back when he does good, appreciate him with kind words, he will be glad to hear that and encourage him when he looks at you. Be his strength, his support system. Parents can be a child's friend, philosopher and guide and also a torch-bearer of their life. Parents should develop an understanding of their children need, their expectations from their parents and try fulfil those. Being careful in dealing with your child will not only foster great relationship among you but will also produce optimistic results. Remember you are your child's first hope and you can make a huge difference in his life. Its "you" who can carve a bright and happy future of you child. Happy Parenting!  

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